Cultivator Profile: A Personal Journey Toward Visibility
This story was originally shared on LinkedIn.
Born May 15th, 1991: ______ enters the world.
By May 15th, 1995: ______ first remembers seeing herself in the mirror. "Who is that?... Wait, that's not me...GRANDMA - get the scissors, we need to cut my hair NOW before I go to school and people think I'm a girl!" "______, don't be ridiculous. STOP."
By May 15th, 2003: ______ hits puberty. Until this point, hanging with her boy friends, joining street kickball, getting rough and tough was coming to a halt. The boys had a new interest...girls. And the girls? They had a new interest too...boys.
So where did that leave ______? The boys had no interest in her anymore, the girls? They didn't want anything to do with her because "______ is weird...I think she wants to date us...that's gross, go away from us."
By May 15th, 2009: ______ has gotten through High School. Did she have crushes? Of course she did, what teenager doesn't? Could she approach the girl that she liked? Of course not. Then everyone would know she's "gay". The mothers of the girls on her soccer team have already threatened to put a restraining order against her. "No way in hell is MY daughter going to be going down THAT path." A very lonely 4 years filled with eating a lot of lunches inside bathroom stalls, going home from soccer games, locking herself in her room, and a lot of staring. Staring herself in the mirror, crying. "Why are you trapped inside this female, Kai? Why can't I see you?"
By August 15th, 2009: ______ left for college.
By August 17th, 2009: ______ came out as lesbian and had her first girlfriend. But, something was missing? She shaved her head, 3 years later. "WOW! This feels great! Though, why is my family crying? Why is everyone telling me to grow my hair back out?"
She did. Why? Because everyone told her to.
By November 20th, 2017: ______ went to her first therapy session. She got her letter approving the start of HRT. She was about to bust out of prison. She was dying slowly behind those bars and HE WANTED TO LIVE!
By January 3rd, 2018: Kai started his testosterone treatment. He looked at himself in the mirror and said, "This is it, my guy! You're on your way home!"
By May 15th, 2020: Kai was on testosterone for 2.5 years. He was THRIVING. He looked in the mirror with tears of joy in his eyes every time he saw himself. He was passing. He was FINALLY PASSING!
But from 2018-2020? These years were filled with uncertainty, crippling anxiety, bouncing from job to job. Not because he wanted to, but because 99% of the time, he was made a mockery of. He was threatened. Mentally, emotionally, and almost physically abused.
Though, January 25th, 2020: This day changed his trajectory forever. He married his partner in Milan, Italy. He married the person who would love him back to life.
Now? I sit in this seat with utmost pride, thriving, and able to do so because I AM ME!
"Today’s transgender youth are what the world looks like when we get out of their way and help every child to flourish."
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